1) How does our relationship with our body change after having a baby?

After months of sharing our bodies with a baby or babies growing inside us, suddenly, through birth, we are met with a new reality. This reality might be quite different from what we imagined. After giving birth, our bodies (and minds) carry the impact of change. How we perceive these changes affects our relationship with our bodies. 

We may see physical changes like stretch marks, blue-veined breasts and bleeding. We may feel pain and discomfort. Our body is now a maternal body. This maternal body houses our maternal mind, often full of mixed and conflicting emotions: love and hate, joy and sadness.

Often a perception that our body is purely functional can cause an unhelpful separation between mind and body. But on the other hand, there may be a newfound appreciation and sense of wonder for what our body has just done, resulting in mind-body integration and connection.

Unique life experiences shape us, ultimately influencing our perception and relationship with our bodies. Social expectations and the experience of birth impacts our body image too. If there is birth trauma, for instance, this potentially could affect our bond with our baby and the way we feel and think about our bodies. 

Suppose we start to notice an overly negative and critical view of our bodies and behave in unhealthy ways, like overeating or undereating, substance abuse or extreme exercising. In that case, it may be time to seek help.

2) How can we make peace with/love our new body? (Practical tips)

There is tremendous value in seeking support from a professional to help make peace with or love our new body if this is of concern. 

Motherhood offers an opportunity to understand ourselves better and learn to navigate the changes to our relationship with our bodies after birth. 

Our body image and how we treat our bodies after birth often communicate emotional wounds. Consequently, becoming a new mother can reactive old feelings that are unresolved. An entourage of unrealistic post-baby pictures on social media can also exacerbate feelings of dissatisfaction. In these cases, new mothers will benefit from Talk Therapy. In addition, incorporating supportive, healthy, and helpful daily routines can pave the way for a more balanced body image.  

Practical ways of learning to love our body after birth can be getting back to basics, as how we care for our physical body impacts our mood and sense of well-being. These include:

• Eating wholesome foods.
• Drinking clean water.
• Getting sleep when possible - this may mean changing our expectations on when we nap - for example, when the baby sleeps, we sleep to re-energise.
• Gentle movement.

Developing self-compassionate practices that involve observing our thoughts and behaviour with non-judgement will help new mothers improve their self-esteem and move towards a space of acceptance and healing of our body image.

3) What are some of the most common feelings many new mums have about their bodies, and how can we think more positively instead? 

Having a baby has psychological, biological, emotional and social implications that influence how new mothers view their bodies.

It is common for new mothers to feel low, anxious, tearful and tired and perhaps think of their bodies as 'alien' and unrecognisable after giving birth. Our body image may negatively affect our relationships, intimacy levels and how we interact with our partner. 

Mothers holding, feeding and connecting to their baby will increase oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, naturally increasing gratitude towards their body. In addition, new mothers can start thinking more positively about their bodies through reflective practices, including journaling, to help them understand and express their emotions.

It is vital to consider how time-poor new mothers usually are; being in tune with our bodies and knowing what feels supportive and what creates more pressure will help put healthy boundaries in place, resulting in a more positive mindset. In addition, being outside in nature with fresh air and natural sunlight can help ease anxiety because it can enable us to manage stress levels by taking the focus off body image and unhelpful internal thought patterns and instead experiencing the world outside us. 

The time for a new mother after birth is a period of growth and healing. Learning to love and reconnect with our bodies is an essential part of a healthy journey of motherhood.